Lessons learned in dense fog

Today started with such promise.  I was going to my son’s cross country breakfast to celebrate the great season they had and then drive to see my daughter at college for lunch.

The breakfast was great.  The coach told the boys how proud she was of them, how much she loved them, and encouraged them to continue to push themselves both physically and academically.  Plus, there was a wonderful offering of breakfast treats.

As I was getting ready to leave, my phone rang.  I looked down to see that it was my aunt.  My heart sank.  I knew before I answered why she was calling.  Another aunt had been battling a rare, aggressive cancer for almost two years and was declining in health; she died in the early morning hours.  I held it together while I said my goodbyes to Coach, but as I hugged my son goodbye, the tears began to sting my eyes.  He sweetly walked me to the van as I told him the news.  He was very kind and compassionate as I expressed my sorrow and weariness of death.  I hugged him good bye, got in the van, and began my three hour drive to see my daughter.

The dense fog I encountered matched my mood, dark and gloomy.  I began to think about the past eight days; the one year anniversary of my mom’s death, the death and funeral of my kids’ friend’s mom, and now my aunt’s death.  I thought about all the deaths we grieved in the past year and the numerous funerals we’ve attended.  My heart was heavy and my soul weary.

That’s when God started speaking to my heart.  He told me to keep my eyes on Him and He would lead me through the fog, just like the truck He provided.

You see, there was this green Chevy truck in front of me.  I had become somewhat attached to it.  The driver was driving at a good rate of speed (not painfully slow or recklessly), he slowed down when the speed limit dropped, and he made sure that he kept a safe distance behind the car in front of him.  Somehow, I felt more at ease following him given the road conditions and my state of mind.  I slowed when he did.  I sped up when he did.  I kept my eyes on where he was going.

Right now life seems hazy and dark.  Things just don’t seem clear and I feel a little uncertain.  So God reminded me to focus on Him; go where He goes, slow when He slows, speed up when He speeds up, turn when He turns.  He reminded me to trust that He knows the road and where we are going.  He reminded me that fog eventually burns off and the sun shines again.

But for now, just follow…